Gossip Girl: Lily van der Woodsen [ESFJ]

Functional Order: Fe-Si-Ne-Ti

Judging Functional Axis:

Extroverted Feeling (Fe) / Introverted Thinking (Ti)

Lily concerns herself a great deal with social protocols and good behaviors, which causes her to clash a great deal with her daughter Serena, whose Fi wants to ‘live the way I want’ and not feel beholden to social values. She often clashes with Serena over her public behavior and how things look, and will even put aside her own personal desires to do what is seen as acceptable. Though she loved Rufus when she was young and ‘wild,’ Lily has chosen a more responsible, ‘adult lifestyle’ as the toast of New York socialites. She is free and forthcoming with her feelings, but doesn’t always give in to them, or allow them to make decisions for her—rather, she does what she sees as prudent and ‘expected’ of her (Fe and Si awareness of how the world works and how to get what you want). Lily is terrific at turning negative press in her favor, in charming people, in putting up with anyone she dislikes, and in correcting her family whenever they get out of hand, but she is poor at detaching herself from what others expect and want her to be, in order to make her own decisions. It takes her many years to decide to be with Rufus, showing an inability to self-analyze and an over-reliance on appearances (inferior Ti).

Perceiving Functional Axis:

Introverted Sensing (Si) / Extroverted Intuition (Ne)

She is very tied to her past in terms of sentiment and personal experiences; seeing Rufus again brings up all the ‘old memories’ and she has them as strongly as if she is right back a ‘teenager’ again. She has a traditional mindset, and considers that period of her life as one of ‘rebellion and irresponsibility.’ Her own experiences with Rufus cause her to have grave doubts about Serena dating Dan, since she fears history may repeat itself. For her life, it does. She returns to old lovers often, while still working her way forward. Lily understands how you get things done as a socialite, and skillfully does it (she marries up, for prestige and power). Her Ne is somewhat reluctant to embrace change, but also sees the good in Chuck Bass that everyone else denies. She insists on loving and supporting him, even through his most destructive period.

Enneagram: 3w2 social

Lily is all about appearances, and being a 3 is partly what leads her to such internal confusion between feeling drawn to Rufus (what she wants) and being afraid to enter into a public relationship with him (because it might earn her scorn from NYC society). She is a hard-working, industrious woman who is so skilled at turning bad situations around, she saves her children from disaster and scandal several times – but also alienates them, and Rufus, by being over-focused on appearances, not wanting to admit to the problems within the family or deal with them, and by chasing fame and fortune over true love (she marries Bart Bass rather than Rufus, choosing to social climb instead of live a bohemian lifestyle). Her desire to remain the toast of society causes many issues with Rufus over the course of their relationship. Her 2 wing is devoted to pleasing her husbands, and helping her children aggressively (and sometimes policing them).